our heart is sensitive

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Liking someone is easy.

But managing the feeling is like putting yourself into a dark world.

And it would be more difficult when you are not sure the other side's feeling.

How would be their response??
Does he likes me as well as I like him??

And.... it is suffering.

Really.

Seriously badly killing me inside.

Remember please.

We have our faith.

Our God- ALLAH

We have His guidance.

We have Quran.

We have Solat.

All those things, will remind me that I am not alone.

I will be accompanied.

I get the strength.

Love towards our Creators more than everything.

In shaa Allah. Innallahama'anaa.:)

New Semester dahh??

Wahh wahh, dah masuk semester bawuuu. Eh, seronok kerr?? Hello, I'm getting older when the new semester started. kihkih. The time flies so fast. Seriously, rasa macam baru je kat UPM ni but now dah masuk 4th semester, then in shaa Allah I have another 4 semester to finish up my degree in Bachelor of Computer and Communication System Engineering. Alhamdulillah. Lepas tu yeayy habes. Akak suh sambung MASTER teros lepas habes ni, what???? MASTER?? Ermm, macam tak terpikir lagila. Dahla suh aku further overseas. Hello!! Nak support kerr? Tu perli lebeh sangat tu. haha. Tapi sounds good!! Kalo ada scholarship no hal la,sponsor kerrr. Ngehehe.

So, whats up with the new semester?? Actually honestly, I dont really like to study here. I noticed that, when I entered the 2nd semester. hahaha. Yang sebenarnya, kat mana-mana pun aku memang tak suke sangat. Pilih course pun maen letak jer. Sampai dah tak tau nak pilih ape. Tapi hakikatnye memang suke engineering. Nak amek medic macam TAK LAYAK jerr. kekeke. Result cemane pulak?? hahaha. Cemtu la cemane lagi. Bese2 jer. Aku ni dapat rendah ke tinggi ker, still bese2 jer. haiyaa. Dari kecik lagi, aku takdela pandai sangat. Time skulah rendah boley la asek nombor SATU dalam kelas. kahkah. Somehow, pointer 3rd semester not so really good like 2nd semester. Tapi, the CGPA alhamdulillah. :) Maybe pasal 2nd semester nyer pointer dah cover CGPA. Bersyukur ida. Tu la malas je keje. Tido. Makan. Game. Movie. Tu la habuannya.

Mase 1st sem, result tak oke tau, sangatla. Pastu dan dan je kasik alasan kat mak pasal tak dapat sesuaikan diri kat UPM. Banyak la kau punyer tak sesuai. hahaha. Mak bebel tak sudah. Ada ke dye kata aku masuk U pegi main-main. hehe. Mak memang macam tu, dye dah faham benar yang anak bongsu dye ni memang tak berapa rajin cket. Tak macam akak-akak and abang yang laen. Meanwhile, they already have their own life, their careers. WOW! Awesome. Then me??? I have nothing. LOL.

Akak-akak pun tahu yang aku memang banyak maen-maen. Alaaaa nak buat cemane kan. Dah memang dilahirkan cemtu. Takdela pandai macam korang dulu-dulu. Addmaths pun dapat A+/A1. Aku? B je tau. Mak salu cakap, " pegila study maths leklok, kakti dulu rajin tau, bla blaa blaaa blaaaa". MAK!!! Stress. Mak ni, dekat aku dye salu banyak soal, sume benda nak control. maybe pasal anak bongsu. Normal kot. Tiap kali ada kol masuk pun, macam ada polis pencen bersoal-jawab "sape tu telefon? Hamboi, asek bunyik je telefon......." eh eh eh  >.<

Somehow, I know that everything yang mak buat mesti tuk kebaikan. Maknanye, mak sayang aku. Abah pulak cool jer, Tak banyak bebel. agaga. So sebenarnye, the only way nak dapatkan kepercayaan abah, mak dan adek-beradek ialah dengan mendapatkan pointer OKE! Haaa, why? Because... with the pointer came out, I'd prove that I've studied hard enough and not played around okey. Yela, nak kene jaga sume ni. Pasal, tak pasal-pasal 'my permanent financial support a.k.a sponsor" lari tak bank in duet. ekeke. 

Alhamdulillah, when I told them my new result, they seemed to get surprised and looked happy. Syukur ya ALLAH ke atas rezeki Mu. Haaa, tengok! "da pegi belajar la kat UPM tau tau" hahaha. Belajar ke. Berangan je lbehhhhh. Thanks to those yang dah banyak support selama mana aku kat sini. Especially my FAMILY yang banyak sangat jadi tulang belakang, then goes to my friends. They are good enough to me. Sayang sangat dekat kalian. XOXO

#sesungguhnya rezeki Allah itu sangatlah luas.

Oh calon mak

Wow! Sounds like it was really awkward to write something about my soul mate . Somehow, kene jugak tulis. Kat sini boleh luahkan rasa yang tak berapa puas hati sebenarnya. haha. Jahat la aku ni . Babe, kemonla, jangan cepat-cepat stress okay. Tak ada boyfriend lagi bukan la bermaksud haa, you ols tak laku okey, maybe ermm belum sampai masa lagi nak jumpe miss and mr perfect?? errr perfect ker? Boleyla. haha. Well, the story begun with how my brother's girlfriend was rejected by my mom. LIKE SERIOUSLY babe????? hahaha. Kapel bagai nak rakkk ouhh makaaiaah. Tapi kan, mak tak pernah la pulak cakap direct dengan abang yang mak tak berape berkenan. Just some kiasan maybe. At that time I was not so interested to get knowing about those stuff like right now guys!! haha.

      Tapi, once she told my brother that, " kalo rasa nak sangat kawen, pegila ajak kakak-kakak awak masuk meminang, mak tanak campur " errr okay again LIKE SERIOUSLY?? Okay yang nie memang nampak mak memang la serius wey. Tolong amek pot wahai abang ku yang sorang heyy. Somehow, how dare he ignored what had mak told him and continued the relationship as usual?? Maybe abang aku rasa dengan confidentnya yang one day mak akan terima wanita itu as a menantu. Mungkin la, dan tak mustahil la pasal abang I anak emas mak dengan abah. TAK ADIL! Until then mak seemed to ignore and let it be. SEE guys?? How my mak mengalah dengan abang? ouhh demm! 

      Tapi, lagi sekali tapi. haha. Tup-tup dengar cerita , ura-ura ni like gossip retis gitu yang abang dah CLASH!! Again, LIKE SERIOUSLY?? lol. Yang part ni sedih cket, kiteowng sume adek-beradek terkezut when wanita tadi called mak, begged my mak, nanges-nanges weyh mak citer (sedih pulak ase) supaya kasik dye kawan dengan abang. Izinkan perhubungan dyeorang. What?? Ouh, ni mesti keje abang ni. Sah. mesti dye kasik alasan clash pasal mak tak restu. Mak tak pernah mintak macam tu, bahkan mak dah lupekan hal tu, and macam biarla dyeorang. Kalo dah jodoh nak buat cemane kan. Somehow, ini pulak yang jadinya kan. Macam novel, okey ini cerita benar. Asalnya, memandangkan abang anak lelaki TUNGGAL dalam famili, mak dengan abah nak orang dekat jerrrr as a calon menantu. Sekali abang cari orang Johor. Tak ngagak kot weyh, padahal before masuk u lai mak dah pesan. Tapi still la, abah cool and steady. haha. LIKE!! Sudahnya, mak cakap kat abang, "bile mak cakap mak suh putus dengan dye??" . Abang jawab " mak, kan mak tak berkenan, putus jela..." . " Eh2, kau engat dye tu ape, kecian anak orang tau". Abang dah macam eh ape ni kan, " laaa, pulak dah, hurmmm" . 

       Okey nak dipendekkan citer, abang dah pun kawen skarang, selamat and bahagia dah pun. Dengan calon pilihan dye jugak la. Tapi, boleh la dekat dengan mak dengan abah. Negeri sebelah. haha. Ape pun, kesimpulannya, tiap apa yang orang tua kita buat tu mesti bersebab, tak akan ada seorang ibu yang nak tengok anak dia menderita. Aku yakin keputusan mak yang tak setuju pada awalnya itu membawa kebaikan dan mak tahu apa yang dia buat. Bukan nye mak suke-suke. Yang penting, dalam setiap perhubungan ini, mesti la mendapat redha kedua orang tua. In shaa Allah berkat hidup.

Jadi, aku pun jadi PHOBIA nak cari pasangan hidup. Tersilap pilih, sekali kene reject dengan mak. Maigodd maigodd maigodd!! Taknakla cemtu. Sakit woo.